Monday, May 27, 2013

The Great Surprise

As many of you very well know, over this past weekend I performed the title role in Thoroughly Modern Millie Jr. This show came about through many fun experiences and about two months of rehearsals.

About half way through rehearsals is when my mom left.

I have to admit that I was very disappointed that my mom wasn't going to be able to see my show. My mom has never missed a show that I was in (usually because it was professional shows which had two billion performances over about fifty thousand weeks...). It was also very difficult because people were telling me that this was my best vocal performance ever and I worked so hard for this show. I was extremely upset that my mom wouldn't be able to see me perform.

During church the morning of my final show, the church was recognizing a military family and how much they had been supported by the church. They got to skype with him and were able to have an interview onstage.

The entire time I was tearing up and trying so hard not to loose it because I was desperately wanting my mom to be home. I just wanted to tell her I'm so proud of how strong she is and I was wishing the church would skype her in too! Then they had her picture on the screen with little Victor Noah and I was so excited. I thought, "Wouldn't it be wonderful to have her skype in the service as a surprise?!?"

I had no idea.

I wasn't really listening to what Tracy our pastor upfront was saying, until she said, "Cindy is here today so how about you come in!"

she walked into church...

I LOST IT!I was just bawling! I had literally dreamed that she would come home for my last show and it was just too perfect! I just couldn't stop crying, I was so happy to see her.

Apparently just about the whole world knew about the surprise except me. My dad arranged for me to go to a friends house so I wouldn't suspect anything the night before. I was so clueless. (Although I have to admit I was very curious as to why dad didn't really care that the video we took of the show was terrible and he was fine with us just not using it (!!!) )

The last show was really bad. It has to be one of the worst shows I have performed in technically wise, I had five mic changes through the end and the show had to stop twice because of the difficulties. My wig fell off, I got a beautiful bruise from hitting a desk with my thigh, flopped my 15 sec. quick change, forgot a prop, most of which would have been avoided without the microphone issue frazzling everyone (including me).


I sucked up my pride, did a mic check onstage in the middle of a show, and stayed composed long enough to sing my heard out for my mom. Believe me, belting your face off while holding back tears is no easy thing!

If my mom hadn't seen that show, I'm not sure I would have wished to finish it. I needed to be able to glance at her from the corner of my eye during that onstage/mid-show mic check and then think of her as I walked backstage hearing from just about every laughing 12 year old possible, "Did you just do a mic check onstage?!?" "Did you switch mics? "Why did the show stop?"

Don't worry mom, no swearing escaped my lips (even if I had thought many unprintable things) I stayed professional.


It was ALL worth it to see my mom after the show. All the issues were nothing after Mom told me that she was so proud of me.

The gift of her coming for my last show was literally the best gift I have ever recieved. Thanks to all who made such a surprise possible especially to my mom who was able to travel so much... all for me.

I love you Mom!

Mariana Christine

Friday, May 17, 2013

How I Am Like My Mother

How I am like my mother:
I never thought that I would say anything like this.
For those of you who know me, you will understand that I am not like my mom. We don’t look alike. We don’t act alike. We don’t generally have the same interests. We aren’t like those moms and daughters who do everything together. Our personalities are not at all alike.
I am most like my dad. We have a lot in common. We typically are outgoing extroverts. We both have similar interests. Our personalities are very alike. Although I don’t really look like either of my parents, I would say that I mostly resemble my dad because of our blue eyes.
I really would NORMALLY say that I am nothing like my mom.
But, being away from her has made me come aware of her little quirks.
You know how people will say that you end up being just like your parents and you should take note when you are young because when you “grow up” you will become one or both of them? Now, I do.
This experience really has been such a defining point in my life. With my mom gone and being the “fill in” woman of the house, I have certainly reached “that” moment in my life. “That” moment is when people tell you that they have made it to a point in their lives when they are a man or a woman and no longer in the awkward “teenage” years. I’m sure you understand what I mean, its when people tell you that they became a man when they first got their tattoo, or a woman first became a woman when she saw a loved one die, or someone believes they became an adult when they lost their virginity.
You know what I mean. The “that” moment is when someone grew up. Or grew up over a certain amount of time but decided to pinpoint a moment when it all came together. The “climax” moment, if you will. The defining moment in a story.
This is my climax moment. If someone will ever ask me in the future when I became a “woman” or grew up. I think it would have to be this moment right now. “When my mom needed to leave for a few months to take care of my little micro-primee brother in Utah. The time when I needed to step up and try to survive emotionally for my little sisters and not just go and hide in my room all day. To talk to them and tell them they are loved and tell them to be so very proud of our mom for doing the not-so-easy task.
I don’t know if I have the right to “deem” myself a “woman” without... uh.. permission of sorts. But, I think that I have the right to say that I am becoming like my mom already.
I have started to get annoyed when people do things “off” of our calendar without consulting me.
I come home from school and comment on how “this house is a wreck”
I feel the need to be early everywhere.
(the obvious) I started writing blogs to let off steam and unspoken feelings.
I am telling Hope her “truths” when she gets upset or has a meltdown to cool her off and speak against the anger inside of her.
I find myself getting up earlier and just being downstairs in a quiet home till the minions wake up.
I find myself getting angry over unjust situations and feel so much hurt for “The least of these”
I cry while reading books.
I hide in the bathroom (just kidding that is purely my mom’s thing).
I pray so strongly for my family.
All just like my mom.
I love you mom. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to be a woman and taking the one given to you.

Mariana Christine 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Oh dear, Mother's Day...

Ooooooooooh Mother's Day. I knew this day was going to be hard. Having the world around you celebrate Mother's Day when you are temporarily lacking a mother at home is one of the most painful things... I can't imagine what it's like for my mom in Utah.

This morning during Church, seeing all the smiling faces or mothers hugging their daughters just made it seem like the devil was taunting me. I seriously was becoming slightly angry at people who were saying sappy things or, even worse, not treating their mothers the way they should have.

I'll put it to you like this. Think (back) to when you were a ''lonely hearted" teenager who was surrounded with dating friends who wouldn't shut up about their relationships. OR think of it as if y ou and a significant other had just cutt off your ties and everyone was celebrating their "one month" dating anniversary....

That kind of annoyance but feeling as if you wanted to be them was where I was this morning.

I did feel so much better at the end of Church when so many people began to support me. Someone going through a very different yet similar situation comforted me and honestly, that was such a Jesus blessing. We began to talk about how her parent and my parent were both off away and "fighting" for our families. We also both have no idea whenour parent would be coming home.

One a lighter note and with all this being said, and as I was scrolling through Facebook... I realized that every other daughter is saying why they love thir mother on some social media site instead of in person so I guess I'm not very out of place having to do the same thing.

So, here is why I am thankful for my mom:
(insert eye roll here...)


Her sacrifices that she has made for all of us. For pushing me to be my best at what I accomplish. For her amazing modeling of what an educated, respected, and completly insain woman of God looks like. I'm also so amazed of her beauty and authority she carries with her. I am also so blessed at how wonderful of a cook she is (thank you Mennonite herritage). I could go on for days.

Mom, I am so proud if you.
I love you so much.

Mariana Christine

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Ye (me) of Little Faith

Today was the first day without mom. 
Today was the first Sunday without mom
Today was out first concert without mom.

THAT was the hardest one.

I never realized how much mom and dad carry the concert together. They talk in between songs and such. We did fine, but It was not our best concert. Especially with all the bickering that usually occurs with this family, but no mom to keep it below the insanity level. By the beginning of out concert, we were about ready to leave or blow up at everyone. I know I was. 

But then we got back into our "grove" of playing and enjoyed the whoops and hollers we received from the church audience. We cooled down a lot and started to enjoy ourselves. It almost seemed normal. 

Then Eden stepped up to talk about who she is and what she loves to do, and then shared about our adoption. This little eight year old shared about the kind of faith she had and it floored me. She spoke well beyond her years... Leaving behind the bickering (mostly encouraged by her) at the beginning and throughout the morning. 

She shared about how she was taking the constant roller coaster of the adoption process very hard and she wanted a baby. She spoke of how she chose the date April 20th for us to be matched with a child and then shared about how we were matched. 

Then it seemed like she was done and dad began to spoke. He charged the audience with a mission to open their lives to others and find their own mission. 

Eden never went to sit down.

He kept talking. 

She stood there. 

Finally she butted in and said these words, "I just wanted to say that I have now chosen May 28th to pray for my mom to come home." then she stepped away from her microphone. 


Incase you aren't aware, it is so rare for primee babies to come before their original birth date. Victor Noah King was supposed to be born at the end of July. Coming home in the end of May is extremely illogical. I guess we forgot to tell her that. Thank God.

At the time, I found myself thinking "oh, how cute... She doesn't know how crazy this is" 
Then I thought more...
Eden has such a wonderful gift of prayer. This gift brought us a baby. Who am I to put a limit on God and say that mom won't come home when Eden prays she will. Logic isn't exactly something running freely in our home. Here is my list of illogical things right now:

-seven children, now eight
-mom leaving the family for an unscheduled amount of time
-family staying strong
-dad as a pastor with that amount of children previously stated.
-dad graduating
-Andrew graduating
-Victor staying healthy at 28 weeks gestation 
-tons of people gathering amazing support for our family

Which of these things are at all logical? 
Yeah, none.

So why not add one more:
-mom coming home by May 28th

Who am I to say that it can't happen? 

Even if it doesn't happen or, at least, now how we imagine, we now have a little girl who's prayer life is becoming greater and a church that this morning heard our message for the first time and has chosen to pray along with her. 

So I choose to be just as crazy and illogical as her. 
Why not? What do I have to lose? 

How about you?

Mariana Christine