Saturday, March 1, 2014

Setting the Example

Someone recently pulled me aside and made this statement, "Your sister's adore you. They look up to you so much. I heard you were obsessed with Frozen because Eden wouldn't stop talking about how you were, and how she is too."

Isn't that terrifying.

I look at my two beautiful little sisters and I just stand in awe. Both are so unique and so gorgeous! They are both perfect little copies of their parents and have so much going for them in life.

I have loved watching them grow up. I can remember way back when I first met my first sister. After being the only girl with two older brothers and a little brother, I welcomed the idea of a sister. I found out later that you can't play barbies with a baby... but as she grew older I realized there are things I could do to love on my sister. Of course, now I see ways to love on BOTH of my sisters.

I am a very busy person. I like my life that way. Sometimes it gets crazy but, my way of making my sister's feel special has always been my love for makeup and hair and quality time when I have it. YES, I like to tell them how beautiful they are and make them feel so special. We occasionally have photo shoots to add the glamour of the occasion...

But, what I have come to realize is that my sisters don't just like me and tolerate me, they want to be me. They look up to me.

My little sister is almost positively going to be a teacher (no doubt in my mind). She is much more creative than I am, she loves organization through creative ways, she enjoys telling people what to do, and many more traits of a teacher. Yet through all this she used to be convinced she was going to grow up and be an actress... Why? "Thats what Ana is!"

She has since grown out of that I think... she has also gone from gerbil breeder to many other random career choices so she is certainly finding herself.

Point being, she wants to be me.
She practically is me. People comment on how much we look alike (the pictures of me at her age are shocking! We look like twins... except I was shorter)  So much pressure because this mini-me is watching.

But I can see how I can help to guide them through my actions.

You have already heard my obsession with Frozen. I LOVE FROZEN. I love the message of SISTERLY LOVE it shows! I adore the music. I adore everything about the movie. Of course the fact that the main princess in the movie and I share the same name has something to do with this slight obsession.

But think...

Lets say that I was obsessed with a certain pop star which I am not going to outright judge so we shall call her "Ciley Myrus". This woman has in recent years decided to abandon what society thinks of her and use her creative expression to become who she "really is".

That is all wonderful and everything but I am more concerned about thousands of people's (kids) purity being compromised by watching "Hannah Montana" on TV nowadays... including but not limited to, my sisters.

Kids aren't stupid. Kids can google search things. These days that is a whole other issue but, lets say I was obsessed with "Ciley Myrus". Would I really want my little sister's singing lines such as, "Trying to get lines in the bathroom"? Pretty serious stuff for a nine year old to be singing, don't you think? Now, I'm all for creative expression, but I'm not bringing that into my house because I don't want to see my sister's twerking.

What if I came home every day talking about a new boy? What will my sisters think is right?... "boy crazy teenage girls". What if I decided that I would start dressing like a certain "Ciley Myrus"? Something tells me that wouldn't go over very well with my mother but, I'm sure it would certainly mess up my sisters.

How about the little things?

These days its normal to hear, "Hey Loser!". To friends, that isn't such a big deal when meant in a joking way. It can almost be endearing to some teenagers who are being cool... but what if I said that to two little girls who are trying to understand life and are just developing their self conscious. Oh! Think of how damaging, "Hey loser!" could be!

I also have the example of my career in theatre.
There was a show where a director pretty much told me that I would be making out with a boy, I would be on top of him and it would pretty much look like we were engaging in things I would certainly not wish to do with someone onstage or off... So I told her I wouldn't do it. She didn't' have a problem with me saying no and we came up with a different solution, but lets think about what could have happened if I didn't say no... having my little sisters (a few years younger at the time) watch that onstage would certainly not help their growing into young women who know how to be treated by a young man. Now, since I am involved in theatre there are obviously things I do that are not alike to me at all, and they know that... but doing something onstage that I wouldn't do off could really mess with my sister's minds.

Truly, there is such a thing as "Purposeful Parenting" which is loving and parenting your kids how God loves and parents you.
I'm going to continue to be a purposeful sibling.
My girls are so valuable to me... they deserve that.

This is the three of us from two nights ago when they came to see me in the high school musical production of, "Anything Goes". My favorite part of coming out to see everyone is when these two come and hug me and tell me I did a good job it means so much more than a thousand words.

I love them.

Mariana (or as I'm known to them and my family, Ana)

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